How a victim of the Pahalgam attack bears the brunt of misogyny in India

What does it cost to be a woman in today’s world? Too often, it means becoming the victim of violence, terror, and hate. 

In the recent Pahalgam terror attack, women were not just collateral damage — they were the ones left behind with heavy and shattered lives. Some lost husbands, some lost brothers, and some lost their entire families. Many lost their sense of safety in just a single moment.

The pain of these women doesn’t end with loss. It continues in the form of trauma, fear, and social isolation. In conflict and violence, women often suffer the most, not just physically, but emotionally, socially, and psychologically. But sometimes, the violence doesn’t stop with the bullet — it comes up with a heavy price to pay, brutal words. 

One of the women affected by the attack was Himanshi Narwal, whose husband, a naval officer, was killed. Amid her grief, Himanshi made a simple appeal: “Don’t blame all Kashmiris or Muslims for this attack.” Her call for peace, empathy, and unity should have been met with support. Instead, she became the target of brutal and gendered hate.

Online trolls — many hiding behind anonymous accounts — launched a vicious campaign against her:

• ​​“Issey goli marni chahiye thi, pati ke bajaye.” (She should have been the one shot, not her husband.)

• “She must want to remarry.”

• “Don’t give her a pension. She doesn’t deserve it.”

  
  

  

  Himanshi Narwal, the wife of the Navy officer who was killed in the recent Pahalgam attack.

  
  

What made this backlash even more horrifying was the use of the R-word, directed specifically at her for speaking up for peace. A grieving widow of the nation was subjected to misogynistic slurs, labelling her with derogatory terms like "r*ndi," in an attempt to undermine her message and character. This backlash highlights a disturbing trend where women advocating for peace and challenging dominant narratives are subjected to gendered abuse. Such reactions not only reflect deep-seated misogyny but also reveal an intolerance towards voices that seek reconciliation over retribution.

She was mocked, sexualized, and accused of being disloyal — all because she asked for peace.

What Himanshi faced is not an isolated incident. It’s part of a larger pattern, where women who speak up, especially in times of national crisis, are silenced or vilified. A victim of the attack, asking for peace, was called a traitor. 

Himanshi's story reminds us that the price of being a woman in India today can mean:

• Being judged for how you mourn.

• Being abused for asking for peace.

• Being reduced to your body or intentions.

• Being silenced for showing humanity.

  
  

Himanshi Narwal’s voice should have been a symbol of courage and compassion. Instead, it revealed a hard truth: that no matter what, a woman with a conscience often pays the highest price.